​Disclaimer: Delta Flight Or Fight.
-by Clay Burton
This post is based on my opinions, despite any facts that it may contain. It may be viewed as theoretically conspiratorial. But If we're concerned about those who do read this and feel that way? I wouldn't have written it.
I cannot offer different research studies, percentages, statistics, or testing as fact. As these often contradict each other due to the politically divisive, life we are living in today where "feelings" and "fear" can't conclude the facts.
Thank you biased media!
From my own opinions and research. Yes. The Delta Variant is highly contagious. However, has been thus far determined not as life-threatening as COVID-19.
I refuse to spend another year or lifetime in fear and watch our children suffer their education and mental-emotional health.
I want to hear about death toll risk, death rates, and hospitalizations. No More Unsubstantiated, Unnecessary, And Political Fear.
Get Vaccinated? Wear a Mask? What is the point?
More variants are likely to occur. Such as more variants of The Flu have occurred. I believe that all pandemics are money makers in the same way that political-global War Conflicts are big money.
Dr. Fauci, The CDC, WHO, Politicians, are always changing their positions and have been doing so creating new stresses and challenges. They claim that because science changes, so do the researched information.
I get that. I agree. At the beginning that is. But how long has it been now? And you don't know any more than you do then?
Fear is the best money maker of all. Although there is reason to fear at the beginning of any unexpected life-changing and life-threatening human global trauma.
But so far after decades of "end of the world" scenarios here we are. Resilient.
Some may call our political unrest, anger, division, chaos, and confusion a far worse scenario and much more problematic. Especially for our kid's indoctrinated belief systems.
Where is Love, Peace, Unity, Understanding, and Fun in such a dark and seemingly hopeless world?
Undetermined? Vaccinated or Unvaccinated? Once again from the start? Do masks work or not work? I always say that results, evidence, and outcomes determine the truth.
Is the Delta variant more dangerous than other variants of concern?
According to surveys conducted in the U.K., where Delta accounts for ~90% of current COVID-19 cases, symptoms of Delta tend to be a little different than other strains, but that does not necessarily mean the associated symptoms are more severe.
Research is ongoing to determine if Delta infection is associated with increased hospitalization and death. However, it appears that the Unvaccinated Folks are more at risk.
In conclusion of my opinionated views on our continuous and uncertain pandemic journey, my biggest concerns are how a life-threatening illness can change our Freedom. Our Decision making. Our Independents. Our Choices?
Folks in 243 Years we have gone through either the same crises of many different kinds or way worse!
Small Pox, Polio, the Spanish Flu, Sars, Zika, West Nile, Ebola, H1N1, H1N2, HIV/AIDS, German Measles, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, and many other epidemics and pandemics.
We here on the Gulf Coast have endured and survived The Great 1900 Storm and numerous devastating Hurricanes that have followed ever since.
And here we are. Better, Stronger, Wiser, And Ready for the next inevitable storms. And although we can never be so ready, for the unexpected? We know that God is in every storm.
Faith Not Fear. In God We Trust. God Bless America. One Nation Under God, With God All Things Are Possible.
Thanks for letting me share.

This is for Mom on Mother's Day.
For whatever legitimate, yet, unfortunate reasons and unhealthy environmental circumstances that contributed to my long journey of being lost in the world, and despite being unaware at a very young age, of why it all was at it was.
It was I who had chosen to remain a victim as I grew older and older.
That is until one day that God saw fit to show mercy on me and gave me an opportunity to get on a more rightful path. And I still walk it and have far to go. By Kingdom Come.
But it was my Mom that God chose for me, that had allowed me to be safe through her prayers. For decades I had been in every harmful and illegal, activity imaginable while sewing all my wild oats.
Yet I never have had a criminal record. Nope, none. How can this be? Because my Mom instilled in me and my brothers the importance of common courtesy and respect.
Yes Sir, No Mam, Thank you.
So when I got in trouble, (which was often) the officers that had me in the back of the patrol car would take a look at me and perhaps think to themselves, "This kid doesn't seem so bad, he just needs some direction".
But what they said to me was more like this, "Son you get your $%# outta here right now ya hear me? And if I catch you round here again, I'll throw your lil chubby butt where there ain't no sunlight! Get it?
Yes Sir! Thank you, Sir! Have A Good Day Sir!
Thank You!.............gone!
BTW? Thank You, Judge Nelson! (whew)
So this recent award was presented to me by our very own Hitchcock Chamber of Commerce in Galveston County and wouldn't have been possible without you Mom.
It may have taken 46 years (58 in May) but the last 12 years have been filled with the God-given Grace of spiritual maturity that has made me the spiritual warrior that I am today.
God has a plan for everyone, in their own time, for a long as there is time left. God loves a sinner most I think. Cuz they make the best testimonials! Woo Hoo!
You are looking at a person who formally engaged in drug addiction, emotional self-destruction, and self-loathing who was absolutely spiritually lost.
I do not brag or boast about my achievements or toot my own horn. Oh, Wait! TOOT! Damn right.
Ya know how hard it is these days to be positive and productive? Of course, you do. Daily challenges where we all want to throw in the towel at times?
So I want to inspire, empower and encourage everyone to see themselves as God sees his children. That's Us! You and me. And we are far from perfect! But we are, however, Perfectly-Imperfect! Yep Human.
And I am honored, privileged, and so very, very blessed to be a part of the solutions instead of the problems in a global community of multi-millions of recovering addicts of many different kinds of addictions.
And they have unimaginable horror stories from the past and incredible victory stories of today! From hopeless rejects of society to productive members of society.
Never reject what appears to be a loser. Especially without judging ourselves first. Or how about not judging at all? They may be the next testimony of "Saved By Grace".
That's my Mom and Dad! How Friggen Blessed Am I? When so many are suffering right now, feel as if they have no one at all. But we have each other. We are never alone. But it's a choice.
Thank you, to all my friends and family who overlooked, my hypo-mania, and loved and supported me for exactly who I am. As God made me, and you.
https://www.facebook.com/i45NOW/videos/483354359553733

​

Today I see and hear so many intelligent, professionals...

..and renowned public figures...

 ...with all their intellectual knowledge...

...and with all their worldly observations...

...and yet they seem to lack the ability...

...to form strategic and effective plans...

 ...that would successfully win the humanitarian wars.

The wars created by humankind... 

...and also by natural disasters.

And so the battles continue over and over...

...with the same outcomes...

...as if it were all designed this way.

But why and for what?

Well profit of course. That's no secret. It has always been this way.

Perhaps that is how the world of business works.

I mean if we as citizens, were to end the cooperate powers that be...

...then where would that put us? We the people?

Without creature comforts and modern conveniences, that's where.

Oh, I get it... Me too. Guilty as charged.

However, a certain, shall I say', more sensitive ideology...

 passionately "feels", that we need...

...to get back to nature first.

They feel that nothing can be done...

..without a healthy world to live in.

Hmmm? Valid point.

And we need to feed and protect the impoverished of the world.

Ummmm? Another good point.

I believe that is what Jesus wanted us all...

...to do. To take care of each other.

Our brothers and sisters.
But another, shall I say', more reserved ideology...

...believes, that we all must take care of ourselves first...

 ...before we can take care of anything or anyone.


I personally think, as a centrist and independent...

...that neither ideology is misrepresented...

...and that but both are factually true.

Perhaps it is a matter of which action to take first? 

Should we take care of ourselves first?

 So we can be secure in our efforts...

...to get the job done?

Or in love and compassion...

...should we take care of others first...

...so that the rewards from of Good Will...

...can give us the spirit to do more for...

 ...those who cannot take care of themselves...

...and that has very little or nothing at all?
Most of us here in this country, by the majority,...

...as citizens, have so many blessings...

...or priveledges as some may prefer to say...

...where our cup runneth over...

...and, in fact, we have more...

... then we could ever need. 
 
No, I am not referring to only money.

I am also referring to the very basics...

...water, food shelter. 
How blessed are we? Everyday!

To have all that we need, to have life, and live well? 

But do we not have the hungry, poor, addicted... 

...suffering, homeless, impoverished, abused...

...sick, hopeless, and alone...

...right here, at our own front door?

Should we start over here? Or over there?

Do we do both? At the same time? 

Well, that is outstanding and unselfishly. caring idea!

But can we?

Do we have the resources to give to all the world?

So that all human beings may have what we have?

"The Government Does! They Should Do It!"

Yes, they do have it, and yes they could, but...

When? Will they? Have They?

Even if someone has the responsibility...

...to do the right thing...

...it is an expectation that we have...

...of them to do it.

And don't be angrier than you already are...

...when humans do or don't do, what they should...

...particularly when they never have.

Why have they never?

Well, maybe they have.

But no matter what they do...

...if they do...

..it would never be enough to satisfy...

...everyone's expectations...

...especially considering, that everyone...

...has their own ideas about...

...how things should be done...

...according to them and in the way...

... that it should.

At least we may all agree on that.

So two things that I must ask myself.

Am I willing to give away most of all that I have...

..my possessions, and opportunities...

...that I have earned, or have been given to me...

...so that others can have the equity...

 ...and equality that I say...

...that I want for them?

What am I willing to sacrifice?

My new car? My college scholarship?

My nice home? My clothes and jewelry?

Hmmm? Maybe I could just share my home.

...open my doors and take down my fences...

...so all are welcome to move in when they choose to...

...and give freely all that I have...

...with those who have very little...

or nothing at all.

Welcome, all who flee from dangerous and oppressive, environments?

But if we really wanted to do this, then why haven't we already?

So the idea behind, the ideology of,

..."We must take care of our own first"...

...is another question.

How can we give away,...

...what we don't have, to give away?

No, I am not referring to all the advantages...

...and resources that we have.

I am, however, referring to, self-will, mental health...

...cognitive fitness, emotional stability...


...energy, time to spare, and, yes, the money...

to buy supplies and medicine...

...for all the people in need...

...around the world.

It is clear, to me, that...

..."We Must Take The Very Best Care Of Ourselves First...

... To Give The Very Best Care To Others!...

Now there are millions of folks around the world ...

..that actually does roll up their sleeves...

..and leave behind their loved ones, and creature comforts...

...to live and work among those suffering...

...and in great need, around the world...

...In some of the most horrific and dangerous...

...places on earth.

All Kinds Of Humanitarian Professionals With Careers That Serve People. 

International Volunteer HQ
Peace Corp
U.N. Volunteers
VSO (Volunteer Services Overseas
Go Abroad.com
Global Volunteers
Global Vision International
Habitat  For Humanity
Save The Children
Doctors Without Borders
Mercy Ships
Green Peace
Red Cross
And on, and on and on,

So imagine all of this money and all these accumulated donations?

Why then, do we have the poor and suffering right where live?

Can you imagine how many Billions and Billions of dollars that is...

...generated annually? GEEZ!

No, I am not going into Government waste spending...

...or greedy corporation corruption...

  ...even that is a story post topic I won't make...

Although I could easily! Not Today Satan.

So yet another question is...

 ...that may appear as very insensitive,...

"If You Had A Choice To Feed A Child...

But You Only Had Food For One Child...

Would You Feed Your Own Child First?

Or Give The Little Food You Have...

...To Another Child Far Away?

"Oh, Clay!" You're Just Trying To Complicate Things!

Your Twisting It All Around...

..Because You Don't Care!"

Ok, so what your saying is that I don't care...

at all?

Or as much as you do? 

But I ask again. What have you given up?

What have you sacrificed, or were willing to go without...

...in your own world of comfort and convenience? 
No, not only 50 cents per month to feed a child.

So you can feel unguilty about all that you have.

But are willing to go where the suffering is?

To live in, what they live in?

To roll up your selves and plant seeds?

 And/or dig water wells in the hot sun...

...and carry water?

"Oh, Clay!, There You Go Again! Twisting Everything Around!"

"Whose twisting the reality around here?"

All your screaming at me is your own emotional denial...

...because the questions I ask...

...are about personal responsibility...

...and accountably...

So my version of reality seems, more likely true...

...in my own opinion.  

And all the soapbox emotions...

...about how we neglect the world...

...and what it is we need to be doing about it all...

...is just a protesting poster sign...

...or a podium on a celebrity award show...

...where there are gifts for celebrities that cost thousands...

...while they give speeches about how the powers that be...

...do nothing and the people starve. 

"I bet that I could feed 10 families for 6 months with...

..the money it cost for only one award show designer dress...

...that will only be word One Time! 

Am I making this up or what?

OMG! No, I'm not, because they are gleefully telling you...

...all of this themselves on the Red Carpet! LOL!

"Well, Clay It's Better Than Doing Nothing At All Ya Know?"

Yes, I agree, wholeheartedly, that's true...

...but you may be missing my point...

...and, Yes, my question was about...

...what we are giving away?

But is only cutting a check-in alignment...

...with the glamourous stage speeches...

 ....about how other people are responsible and accountable?

Are all the speeches and checks, for us to feel better...

  ...about ourselves...

 Or for the suffering to feel better?

Ummmm, both I suppose.

Yes doing good things for others...

..is a motivation to do more!

But is this only apart of the solution?

But I ask once again...

...what are you sacrificing of all your privilege?

The privileges that you say, you don't deserve...

...or that you feel so guilty about?

..because so many have very little or nothing at all? 

Do you really feel guilty about driving a nice car...

...while on your way the way to go shopping...

and meeting friends at the new trendy cafe?

I am asking what are you doing to make the difference...

...by your own willingness to create equity...

..and equality so we are all as one?

So as to know from personal experience the pain and hardship...

...and to feel first hand the joys of accomplishment, achievement,...

...and reaching goals, so as to see the joy...

...on the impoverished faces that we want to serve.

"Well, Clay! I Don't See You Doing Anything Or Sacrificing Your Privileges!"

True. But you also don't hear me loudly that I wanted to...

...or that I should or could.

"So See!? Your No Better Than Me!"

"Well, I never said or suggested that I was, did I? 

Because I am no better than anyone...

...and I am only just one child of God, my creator...

..and what I have found is that a simple prayer to God...

...to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit...

...and ask in sincerity that The Lord please take care of them.

Give shelter and safety...

 ...and provide them with food and medicine...

...give comfort to those who suffer...
 ...and who have very little...

...or nothing at all...

For me? This is the most powerful way to serve anyone...

"Oh Clay...What, A Cop-Out!...Mr, Holier Than Thou!...

...So You're Saying That You Can Just Pray...
 
...And Everything Just Goes Away! Right?"

"No, once again, I am not saying that...

...nor am I suggesting that either.

However, what I am saying is, that I don't feel guilty...

...or solely responsible...

...or emotionally compelled to do anything...

...other than turn to God for help...

...and accept his grace and will...

It's not about being right or wrong...

...it's just a choice to be angry or at peace...

,...you may "feel" that you need to do something...

...but when I pray, I feel that I did...

...the most powerful something...

...I believe...

...because God can do, what I am not able to do...

...and through the compassion of Christ...

...I am able to do what I can do...

..and do far more than I could alone...

...together with my Lord and Savior...

 ...and do the very things that...

...that he asks me to do first.

And as I had mentioned earlier in this story post...

I must gather the strength, health,...

...mental and emotional clarity......

...so as to know what to do next...

Because if I feel that only "I" alone, must...

...fix and solve everything in the world...

...then I would not need God for anything at all...

...and all would be fixed and solved by now.

"So Then Why Hasn't God Fixed And Solved Everything Wrong"

"Well, if he did, then how would we know what is right...

..and what is wrong, if there was nothing to compare with?

And what would we know? How could we learn...

...what love, giving, and compassion are...

...if we did not have an adversity to overcome?
"Well, It Still All Sounds Like A Cop Out To Me!"

"Of course it does.

"If You Ask Me. This Story Just Shows How Jealous And Resentful You Are!"
Ok. Go in peace...

...I do hope for you an open your mind...

..so to be still and rest...

...get out of yourself, and then return to yourself.

Reflect, contemplate, and let go.

It's a daily practice, my friend.

But you have to be willing to do it."

Before you can find out how freedom from surrender feels.

BULLS---! YOU THINK I'M BUYING THIS LOAD OF CRAP! YOU'RE AN IDIOT! $#%@! *#&^!

Hey, Look A Big Squirrel!

What!? Where!?

BAM! Ugh Oh! Where did that branch come from?

And it landed right on this guy's noggin. What are the chances of that?

Hey Man? Are you Ok? Can you hear me?

Poor guy. He's just sleeping.

He looks so peaceful now after all that anger.

Glad I could help...

NO! I meant to say that, it's horrible that squirrel knocked that branch down and Cold Cocked him!  
 
A lesson to us all. Don't wait until it's too late.

Find some inner peace, before a squirrel drops a big branch on you.

Thanks for letting me share again. 

I do not dream very often but when I do they are vivid and significant. I tend to not forget them either. They may fade into the back of my mind, but then suddenly and unexpectedly one day that dream will surface again.

However I rarely ever have nightmares. Can be years in between them. But I had one last night. My nightmares are not about Monsters but trauma. We all have trauma or many of some kind.
What may seem like a small trauma to some, can be a Big Trauma to the victim. It's about how badly it affects the victim.
When I have a good dream I am excited to share it with someone.
When I have a strange or odd dream that I have no idea what the hell it was about or where the thoughts could have come from, I will try to find someone that I feel who has good insight to help me interpret them if I am feeling so compelled to do so.
But, when I have a Nightmare I rarely tell anyone. Because I feel that I need to make peace with it. It may be a very personal and intimate event containing secrets from my past that still today I have not shared with anyone.
I contemplate on whether I need to or want to expose myself from the most embarrassing and regrettable moments in my past life.
I think the reason that I really have a personal nightmare such a these is that I have worked very hard for so many years educating myself in recovery communities that I have gathered an insurmountable stockpile of life coping skills when dealing with emotional trauma.
None the less, reliving the traumatic nightmare from the past is the same nightmare I have in my sleep.
And on even more rare occasions I will have one of those "Jump Up In Bed, In A Dripping Sweat Nightmares" where you are feeling your body to make sure it is there and the bed, too while looking around to see if what is happening is real or not.
And when I finally do feel that it was all only a nightmare I have the feeling of "THANK GOD!". However I will stay where I am on the edge of the bed for a while in shock until I can get a grip on things,
I even may wonder my groggy state if the nightmare was real and that the wonderful life I have today is actually is unreal?
But that would mean it was a wishing dream right?
So then it's definitely a nightmare!? But no worries folks! That passes. It's, not a horror movie! LOL!
Even though when I know for certain that right now is real, I am still fascinated and emotionally moved to want to know more about it by investigating what could this nightmare be trying to show me?
I do believe in messages from God. Whether they are a biochemical reaction or not. I believe that God made all things and that includes biology and other sciences,
After all, science is the study of all things. But science is not the God that many make it to be, in my opinion, as is theirs.
The first thing that I do is try to identify where I am in a nightmare. If it is unfamiliar to me, then I ask myself, "What kind of place is this that compares to where I have been before?".
Then I attempt to identify the feelings that I am having. Am I Scared, Sad, and Lost, or simply Horrified altogether!
What are my behaviors? What am I thinking and doing in the nightmare?
With these observations and conclusions, the story unfolds.
My nightmares are always the same base scenario. They are reflections of actual; situations that I have experienced many times. These events did traumatize me. PTSD (Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder).
PTSD isn't only about having violence done to you but also from witnessing it.
In a nightmare, you can witness what you are doing to yourself that which is violent. That likely will trigger terrific guilt and shame,
Self-destruction induced by depression or rage employing suicide attempts, drug abuse, degradation, and other self-afflicting and traumatizing behaviors.
Not to ever dismiss the travesty of one's physical, verbal, mental, and emotional abuse by others done onto the victim but my nightmares are not about my abusers or the violence but the damage that I inflicted upon myself.
But over many years I had to learn that most of the damage that I believe I did to myself wasn't actually my own intentional harm.
You see I had been blaming myself for far too many things that were not in my control to prevent from happening. But I felt as if somehow, that I caused my own harm by causing someone else to harm me, and as a result, I did even more harm to myself.
We can carry these nightmares with us all of our lives with no reprieve as the tapes play over and over and they are real! We may never, ever forget them!
But can we make peace with them? Is it possible to understand them? Why these nightmares are occurring?.
Of course, it is possible in many numerous therapeutic ways. But you have to be willing to participate. If you are resistant to seek help it may be that you don't want help.
I know my nightmares were all I had and they were my accomplishments as twisted and demeaning as they all were.
Are you confused by me saying that which I just suggested? Well, you might be able to understand it if you seek out the therapeutic help I just suggested.
I am so sorry to seem so harsh. But it's Tough Love. And I Love You and God loves you too, but you are the only one that can save yourself from your own nightmares by forgiving yourself.
And God will save you from the nightmares of the future if we ask him for forgiveness too. But it may not only be violence, it can be abandonment. or any unsafe, unsecured, confusion such as being lost in the middle of nowhere with no money, or way to call for help.
Imagine how a helpless child or an innocent animal must feel in that way when they are unexpectantly abandoned too?
When I runway from home at 15 due to unbearable environmental circumstances, I had to survive on the streets, It is a very dangerous and unpredictable lifestyle at such a young age while being preyed upon by vultures cruising in cars persuading you to get in.
And the hunger pangs from not eating were far greater than the risk. It was for me, the leaving proverbial frying pan called home into the fire of the big cities.
I remember having to endure their pleasures that seemed to me like forever and then afterward, only to not get compensated in any way that would ease my hunger and then also to be put out of the car, into the dark with nowhere insight to go.
But that was not the worst of it all. I could have been left for dead many times living this way, and never to be seen or heard from again.
Just a cold case file that could empty a mother's soul from never knowing. My God I Love My Mom And Family! Thank You, Jesus Christ!
My amends to them is every day that I take care of myself and pass on that care to others in need. What better way to forgive ourselves other than making sense of all that was so senseless before and putting ital;l to Good use.
Now, these nightmares were also daymares. Sometimes I would be sitting in a room watching T.V. or on the computer and an image would trigger a similar experience and my body would shutter and shiver momentarily at the thought.
And at that moment the feeling was extremely uncomfortable, to say the least. And in the same way, also, waking from a nightmare, these daymares also take time to process. But the recovery time today is fast.
Because I trust myself and I trust in my Lord in that there is no reason that I ever have to harm myself again. I never have to worry again about being rescued when I am already saved.
This has always been my dream. To feel safe and secure.
To be doing all the amazing things I am today that I never in a billion years believe that someone like me could be doing so many good things to help so many people understand as I did the difference between a dream and a nightmare.
And Yes! If you believe it, Dreams Can Come True.
Thanks as always for letting me share. Dream Big!

Well, this is a first. God has me moving and busy as always, but I don't believe I often make three, story posts in a row for three days straight. He must have something to say that perhaps some folks that may need to know it. I'm just the vessel.
So the title of this particular post is "Strength And Endurance". Well, we all know what these two words mean and what they mean together too right?
But I am going to use these two words to describe my prayers in troubled times. I am very sure that I am not the only one to believe in what I am about to say.
You see when I am in trouble or Really Bad Trouble from many of life's trials and tribulations unless I am in severe pain or my life is being threatened, I do not ask God to remove my hardships and burdens. But instead, I pray for the "Strength and Endurance" to get through them.
Because it has been said for centuries, "For All Things, There Is A Reason And A Purpose!". It's also been said, "Sometimes Ya Gotta Go Through Hell To Get To Heaven".
If you have read the Bible or some, or most all spiritual texts around the world, then you will find in many places they are filled with characters who suffered in many different ways and some for very long periods of time.
But more about that further down the post.
But first, if you will allow me a few questions. How often do we not know what it is that we need until we need it? Or realize what we had until it is gone? Yet we never seem to forget what we want. Perhaps, that is, until we get it, then, we want something else?
Is there ever a greater time, for the appreciation of a life other than when it has been taken from us? Why wait? It has been said that,.....
"When You Are Aware That Your Days Are Numbered, Then There Is A Superlative Revererance For The Precious Gift Of Time!
And No Other Time Than When We Are Faced With Our Own Mortality. Or to put it more crudely,
"When You Are About To Die, The Only Thing That Might Be On Your Mind Is Wanting To Live!",
But some folks like me are not afraid of death. That is could be until I find myself at Deaths Door. But who knows? I may not be scared and ready to go with trust in my God that everything will be alright if I just let go.
I may even be looking forward to peace in paradise as I choose to believe in it. Or I may just Freak Out altogether LOL!
There are three things that I do for sure "right now". And that is at this moment, as in every single moment.
(1) I Live! And I live like it was my last day on earth. Because it might very well be.
(2) Another thing I know at this moment is that I have no regrets. I have made peace and amends for all my sins as I continue to do so every day as I sin every day.
(3) I believe that all things that occurred to me in my past were Opportunities to gain knowledge from Right and Wrong.
Yes, they were all my choices Good or Bad. But I feel that they were my path to choose from. Either way, was a learning lesson. Experiences that had I chosen to learn from.
Then to not just learn, from the joys and consequences so to become aware, but actually apply the wisdom into action, cognitive understanding, multi-perspectives, broader insights, expanded consciousness, and an endless array of spiritual principles to acquire a more moral compass.
Moral Compass? Ugh, ahem, let's just say, "Progress not Perfection. LOL! Perfection is impossible to achieve as human beings, of course, That is the whole point of being fallible. To overcome our never-ending imperfections,
And like sinning every day, and asking for forgiveness every day, again, that's the whole point of being fallible, as i choose to see it.
How many of you non-Catholic(such as myself), think that the practice of "Confession" in the Holy Church is useless and makes no sense to confess and then go out and sin some more?
And then to keep coming back to confess every time they sin again and again?. Even if they keep committing the same sin over and over? Who would say, "That's is Fake and Insincere and God would never forgive that!"
I get it! I totally get it! I always thought the same thing! It was like WTH? Ridiculous. But as I mentioned above about multi-perspectives and broader insights today and every day I recover new ways to see things now.
And this is possible because I no longer decide who and what God forgives and doesn't. Because I am too busy asking for my own salvation to be busy with other sins. Or is it known as a "busy-body"
No, I have not converted to Catholicism, nor have I ever step into a Catholic church, As a matter of fact, to some, I may be lost or found within myself as a proclaimed Christian! But without a doctrine to follow or belong to.
I do not belong to any religious congregation at all. But I have visited many and will go when invited to any place of worship if I choose to. It's like exploring different cultural foods! It's fun and educational!
However many religions that I have ever attended strongly believe that their religion is the only truth. But since I believe that Christ is the only truth I don't feel the need to follow anyone else but Jesus.
So can I be a Christian without a church? I am almost certain that many folks have something to say about my lost and confused soul.
But if you are so kind as to worry about my soul? Instead of warning me of damnation, could you pray for my salvation instead? Thank you. I'll pray for yours too.
So about confession. It came to me one day. I believe that I must ask forgiveness every day. Then I said to myself, Hmmm? Could that be the same thing as going to a priest and confessing one's sin again and again?
Although I chose to go directly to the source. LOL!
But again folks may say that I am not doing it the right way? I am not sure that there is a wrong way.
Some fundamentalists may say, "The Bible says, The Bible says!" like a proselytizing parrot (squawk).
I read the Bible quite a bit. It's very interesting with lots of great stories and teaching moments. It isn't contradicting as many would say but rather requires "Spiritual Discernment"
It isn't a matter of interpretation to me either, but I believe that there are the same principles applied in different ways depending on what is occurring at the time.
I believe in one truth and also believe in multiple truths. God is all things and created all things, so other than The Son why would I think that there is only one truth?
If you find my way of thinking confusing that's Ok. It works for me. And it saved my life too. And if I am wrong? I know that I will be forgiven. But again Wrong is a good way to learn Right for folks like me.
Now, let me throw you this insane ideological, theological-philosophy of mine at you. Are you ready?
You may not understand this one either if you still believe that my thinker is broken. But I feel that since God had me on this self-destructive path in my past, (in which I had survived by his grace alone), then I just might have asked for the worst!
Yea I know that it sounds Crazy to imagine how anyone would ask for a horrible thing to happen to them. But how else could a person such as I get such an expanded consciousness than to have endured some of the most challenging situations to overcome?
Did I know somewhere inside me that, "God Never Gives Us Any More Than We Can Handle?"
If you come out of the storm, (If you do) you bring with you so much incredible awareness. Such a greater appreciation for life and all things, even the very smallest of things, are BIG!
That the tiniest speck of light in a room consumed with darkness is Bright. And if you have lived in a cave for many years that light may even be blinding!
So at the beginning of this story post, I opened with, "Ya never know what you had until you no longer had it? But for me, I never knew what I was missing until now! And I no longer have anything to lose!
And all I want to do most of the time today is to help folks feel the same way. You don't have to go through what I did to gain what I have. It is in you already, It always has been.
Sometimes it's just about having a supportive person in your life to help you recognize all your gifts, abilities, talents, skills, or whatever makes you a confident, empowered, inspired, and happy person!
Thanks again for letting me share! Love Is A Necessity. Happiness Is A Choice.

White? Privilege? How Do You Judge Me?
"No juzgues un libro por su portada. ¡Puede que te pierdas una historia increíble!"
Perhaps you just saw the title of this story post and already you may be ready to fight! Well read on if you will, I am not here to offend anyone.
As for me? Folks don't offend me unless I allow them to. Cuz no one has control over my feelings and emotions
In the end, it's all about Love! So Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover, Until You Read The Entire Book.
As a rule, I tend to avoid controversial subjects such as politics. And especially identity politics and political correctness. But I believe that when I write a story post that I am moved by God to do so. And Yes that is a very special privilege to me.
And when I ask God what he wants me to write I usually get to write what I want to write too. I just choose to ask first. It usually is better than what I would write on my own, alone.
So I am going to express my feelings and emotions about a divisive topic since feelings and emotions are dividing the nation.
I thought that I might choose to explain my point of view so that perhaps someone who is easily offended by when I say, "Have A Nice Day" and they reply with, "Don't Tell Me What Kind Of Day To Have You Fascist!" they `might have less anger.
Wow! Happy Much? Hmmmm? Maybe I am just too old to understand the new ideologies of anger being the new overjoyed.
Anyway, it seems to me that since the 1960s of "Peace and Love", all the while burning The American Flag and spitting on our Veterans after returning home from a political war that really wasn't our war to begin with, according to my own personal researched opinion, that I am thinking all of the continued, anger has been escalating every decade.
Was it that after the 1960s there was so much brain damage from taking so much LSD? Or was it from the withdrawals from stop talking all the drugs when they had children and, got jobs and started paying taxes?
Wait! Who stopped taking drugs? Then there was the 1970's and you couldn't use the bathroom in the dance clubs because all the stalls were full of disco freaks doing coke! LOL! Funny but true.
And as a former addict myself, I know from personal experience coming off of drugs isn't exactly the best way to maintain a pleasant attitude. To say the least. Ok, enough fun at your expense Baby Boomers! LOL!
So about this 'White Privilege'. I am assuming, that you are assuming, by looking at my photos, that I am White? Well, my mother and all my relatives on her side are Mexican, And since I am a Proud Texan, you can call me "Tex-Mex" culture.
But I look White right? Well if you hate me because I am White then I would think that constitutes racism as I understand it. I mean judging another person on the color of their skin? But guess what I'm not White.
But you didn't know that did you? And my last name is "Burton" on my father's side, so again, you may be assuming that I am only Welsh. But look closely at my physical features? Do I look like I am a purebred from Wales in the southwest of Great Britain?
Now let's talk about the "Privileged" part of this story post. Ok since there are so many others, that may be assuming I am White because I look White to them, then I suppose I do have more "Advantage" and "Opportunities" in this world. but hardly any privileges.
Besides, who can you prevent being born what and who you are in order to not be hated? Isn't that the same thing that has to happen to oppressed people of color?
To me, it isn't about Dr. Reverand Martin Luthers King Jr's Dream. But instead trying to gain the power that was being held over the oppressed people so as to oppress the ones that were the oppressors.
To me, equality and justice ls not about repeating wrongful history in order to seek revenge through entitlement. Be not like those who anger, but rise above and try to forgive. Why would we pray for our enemy?
Not so much only for them to find peace from their anger. But so we can find peace too by removing the anger from our hearts.
Ask God who is entitled to anything on earth that was never ours, to begin with? We are only passengers. We are not in control of anything. We do not need to be controlling others by force or intimidation.
However, I can see privilege! I mean if I had kids I couldn't send them to an Ivy League University because I am so wealthy that I could Bribe the college exam administrators.
My Dad was a womanizing, abusive man, a raging alcoholic, to my mother and brothers and he was a factory worker, so I couldn't use his name or the money he didn't have (or claimed that he didn't have) to get ahead in life.
Yea! It was the 1970's in Texas and I was getting my butt kicked every day by homophobic bullies and I did not even know I was gay at that time.
But apparently, they did. When my Dad found out he nearly killed me literally and I had to leave home at 15.
From then on I did what all teen-age runaways do and sold my youth and my body to survive. And several times I nearly got killed that way too.
So I have been fighting all of my life and still am today trying to take my seat at the table because my personality is "off the wall" "loud" "hyper' "weird" or how about "different?"
Ya' know what they call that right? Prejudice, oppression, discrimination, judgemental. But here's the deal. I am not emotionally immature. I am not offended, All that happened to me, only made me stronger, because it didn't kill me.
I worked my butt off too for many years trying to undo all of it. And when I discovered that I could not undo the past, then I had no choice but to make peace with my demons. Let Go!
Today I can forgive, but will never forget. The scars and wounds will never heal. But they no longer rule my life emotionally.
Today I am a volunteer "Life Coach". I don't have a degree, and you do not need one. But I do have the life training and a desire to help heal others who suffer as I once did.
Today I am a productive member of society and involved in community service giving back what God's grace gave to me.
I am not angry any longer and I have no hate towards anyone. But if I don't like you or what you do or how you live that does not make me a fascist or racist. Because I may like your brother. sister or cousin, but not you.
I discovered from the simple fact, that from my resilience and endurance, that I'm a tough guy, very creative and intelligent. So don't hate me for that too. Because so are you!.
So chill out folks. Cant, you see that we are being used against each other, by still others, so they can get what they want by convincing us that we are getting what we want? But never do.
And the ones using us are being used as well by a greater negative force whose only purpose is to separate us all from our common wants and needs.
Do we humans have far more in common than that which is so different?
In a life and death situation, my enemy is my savior, If I am drowning in the ocean and the only lifesaver is from a person I despise. And would I accept it? Hell, Yes, I would! I'm no fool!
We don't have to like each other, but when we both are faced with the same enemy, then it might be a good idea to set aside our differences at least until we defeat the threat together. Then you can go on your way and me on mine.
But what could we have learned from each other and about each other as we fought side by side?
And is that really what we want? Anger, hate, division, and resentment? Possibly from the past? Maybe not getting the attention, acceptance, support, and love that we feel that we needed? That's my story.
I Love You! I may not like you, but I Love You! LOL! I Love You because we all want the same thing. Peace, Unity, and Acceptance.
I have achieved all this by surrendering my self-will and my life over to the care of the God of my own understanding. A universal consciousness that loves some exactly the way I am.
That I do not have a fight or dance and sing for anyone else in order to win over their approvals. And when nobody wants to Love me than my Father who art in Heaven does, and always will.
As a matter of fact, I learned that he always did love me even when I was harming myself in ways that I thought he would never come 10 feet near me. Turns out that I was never alone. But I didn't realize it back then.
Brain Washed? Religious-Cult Indoctrination? No that's for folks who are seeking something in their lives perhaps that they feel is missing. Then the cultist tells them what they want to hear. So that is how that works. Like certain politicians. LOL!
No that was not my case, You see? I wasn't looking for God. God found me instead. I suppose it was just my time.
When I say that I surrendered my will, I didn't know that I had. I finally realized that I was doing the same things over and over for years upon years and the outcomes were always the same and nothing had ever changed.
My surrender meant I stopped fighting everybody and the world around me. I was so tired and it felt so good to not be able to get up off the ground. I rested for the first time in many decades. My teeth relaxed, my fist unraveled, and I cried for hours!
The force from the release of my tears and pain could have knocked down all the walls around me in the room. Yes, the walls did come down that day.
And to be honest with you. The only thing that had changed, in this crazy world, and all its people and problems, was "me, myself and I"
How I respond, react, and feel about life is more positive. Because when I believed that God loved me, then I began to love myself! And you know what? I am not perfect, But I am perfectly imperfect!
I May Not Be Where I Think I Should Be, But I Sure As Hell Ain't Where I Was!
And I Wouldn't "Give Up" My Wonderful Life, For You Our Anyone Else On This Earth!
But I will gladly "Give It Away" instead. Pass it On!
Thanks for letting me share again! Live In Peace Not In Pieces!

Ok friends, time for another story post, It's been a while since the last one, as I like so many today have been super busy with all things COVID.
This is exactly why I need to write a therapeutic story post, to recharge and get back into the game. And the best way for me is to empower others so that I may be empowered as well!
This is what survivors do for each other! After all, the earth will spin on its axis no matter what we do until it no longer does.
In many of my other story posts, when it comes to proven facts that are based on scientifically documented research I can provide physical evidence that is mutually agreed upon by communities in the numerous felids of science (s)
Before I continue this post I feel it is important to recognize that for those who do have a belief in a universal consciousness of good then there is also the awareness of negative forces that only want the worst for us.
It uses our own demises that we use against ourselves as well as against each other when allowing ourselves to be influenced by this menacing force, But Let The Enemy Of Good, Teach Us, Good.
What are our own demises that we may be influenced by? Division, separation, segregation, discrimination, prejudice? Fear most likely produced from lack of association, experience, or knowledge of what it is that we are so afraid of.
Ya know the more you learn about the Monster the sooner you may discover that it is really only a mouse?
For some Fear is their security which of course, (in my opinion), is a Big and Clever way for this negative force to keep us in the same place that we claim is secure for us, but really we are so unhappy and miserable.
So it seems likely that we may never find the courage to leave our undesirable place to go in search of a better way of living.
Because Humans understandably must know that, "The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side. Before Leaving The Swamp". Good or Bad decisions, that's why God gave us all Free Will.
Of course, we can argue that there are copious circumstances where humans who suffer have no choice.
Agreed!
But that is yet another subject for another time, And all my posts are as long as it is. But I will add that this belief as legitimate as it is, is still fear.
And we most often fear the "What If?" by attempting to prevent something that has not happened to us but could!
Of course, there is no way to predict the future unless I call you ahead of time and tell you that your house is on fire because I am the one who sets your house on fire. LOL! That was my story post pun in which I try to include at least one!
So what of God and Science? Well, when it comes to God, I can only write about my own individual experiences and beliefs,
Although these beliefs are shared by a much larger percentage of planetary people other than those who only rely on scientific data and statistics known or proved to be true.
Religion Adherents Percentage
Christianity 2.4 billion 31.1%
Islam 1.9 billion 24.9%
Hinduism 1.2 billion 15.2%
Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist 1.1 billion 14.1%
Accurate demographics of atheism are difficult to obtain since conceptions of atheism vary across different cultures and languages from being an active concept to being unimportant or not developed.
In global studies, the number of people without a religion is usually higher than the number of people without a belief in a deity around 16%. A much smaller percentage by comparison
Ok since I am hardly a mathematician. I'll let you do the math.
The Cosmic Fundalmentalsit.
From science we are able to form all of the known constants in the Universe – say the speed of light in a vacuum for example.
There must be some underlying physical law, principle, or relations between physical laws and principles that determine what value those constants hold.
But what is the underlying state of physics and is that the next area of investigation that leads to the next scientific revolution? It never ends,
What we thought we knew today may not be correct, and what we are correct about may only be the tip of the surface leaving out so much yet to be discovered.
Change Is The Only Constant - Heraclitus. Ancient Greek Philosopher. Persian Empire, 500 BCE
We all face changes every day – whether it is a simple change in the weather, our schedule, or an expected change of seasons.
Change affects us all and we each deal with change differently. This only constant in life is change and the only thing we can be sure will happen.
*If you want to try to come to terms with the nature of the Universe (or Cosmos – a multi-verse), then we might want to eliminate humans from the equation as the Universe-Cosmos existed way, way before humanity was dreamt up in anyone’s philosophy.
And with the way, some humans behave that may not be a bad idea! LOL! But I better be quiet! Cuz I am sure to be among the first to go!
Further, also eliminate any discussion of God (or any other deity or deities) as well as the supernatural realm of said deity or deities, as nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody can actually demonstrate that God actually exists or ever existed.
Ok so here's the problem that creates the separation.
Ok as for me, my own personal argumentive- rebuttal has always been two things in my story post concerning why believing is either known as faith, belief, and hope in an unseen creator or by the doubt of solid collaboration.
I choose to take the easy what out as my life was very difficult most all my years trying to understand it all. So today I say,
"Why not just acknowledge science as created by God? Is that Science being the study of all God's creations? Too simple huh? Well, it wouldn't be science if it were not complicated right?
And also I will always include the question of.
"If you are going to attempt to scientifically question a person of faith on how they will prove God's existence, then it should be as equally scientific to disprove God's existence scientifically.
This simply can't be done either way.
The one thing that drives all humans to "Feel" what they believe is in fact emotional. Some may argue that it isn't emotions that drive them, but rather the facts presented.
But to have an opinion, you have to have a belief or doubt in something and that is a "Feeling of confidence"
Believing is believing, by definition. So whether you believe in God or not you still believe in your own truth whatever that may be.
But what motivates our beliefs more than all the other human emotions? Yep, once again, it's our old story post nemesis "Fear".
Fear of the unknown, fear of the future. Fear for our families and loved ones, Fear of not being able to support ourselves and active our goals AKA fear of failure. Fear of death. Fear of the end of all things?
Ugh Oh! Fear Of Being Wrong!? "Hey, Let Go My Ego!"
But wait! Is it really all Fear or could it be Insecurity? Is "feeling secure" what gives us happiness, peace, and safety? And is insecurity the cause for all our worries?
If we are living our lives every day in fear by feeling insecure all while our lives are so short and precious, then that (in my own opinion, and from personal experience) it is no way to live.
As a matter of fact, for me, it was the living-dead. Too Painful To Live Any Longer, And To Afraid To Die,
So here is our motivation! Acceptance.
The acceptance of the way things are. And acceptance comes from understanding. And understanding comes from knowledge. And knowledge reduces Fear. AKA Belief!
Unless we believe in the worst of course.
And Lord! The World Is Filled With These Poor Lost Souls Worried About Where Their Next Meal Is Coming From While Eating The Food On Their Plate In Front Of Them And So Many Millions Are Starving!
Oops,I accidentally step on my soapbox folks.
Whether we are faithful in our beliefs in God or Science alone, it is something to hold onto like a lifesaver, when we are feeling confused, uncertain, worried, stressed out, or simply curious.
For many they must find things that make sense, Right or Wrong these humans must make sense out of the senseless so as to feel.secure. Having a routine rather than to have changed.
What is science and what are scientists? Scientists are very curious intellectuals who obsessively show interest in all things in existence. And science is the study of all things in the multitudes of fields of scientific study and research.
One way to think about this is that, if we are never satisfied with our results then we are always searching, so there is nothing definitive to believe in.
On the other hand, believing completely in something can mean the searching never ends.
And then! Whether it is by Science or God the infinite universe could never be understood in only one lifetime
Wait please don't go there yet! Theoretic-Theology and Cultural Philosophy is a whole other story post regarding the possibilities of Reincarnation and how many lives could mean more knowledge each time.
Then again we must also consider the belief that the end of just one lifetime reveals all the knowledge of all things in the universe all at once upon entering the Kingdom of God.
Aggghhhhh! My Head! If you think reading all this is hard for you then how do you think I feel writing it all! LOL!
But this is the way to get it all out and in print! Find your coping medium I say, to live to fight another day! Whatever works right?
But there is one curious question I have for the Atheist. What is Love and where does it come from?
Is it all only due to the dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine that we're releasing producing a "feeling" of bliss accompanied by a racing heart and excitement?
And if that were the case? Then does Love really matter? It is important to have and keep?
And if you "feel" so by saying Yes? Then why? If all human feelings are simply a biochemical reaction then why love anyone or anything at all?
Would it really matter? Would our desires diminish? And why be curious about anything then? And if evolution was the only answer then why evolve at all?
We could have just kept running around naked in a beautiful garden picking apples from the trees.
Or we might be still swinging branch to branch from one tree to another. Either way, there would be no need for a tree of knowledge right?
So what are we are all searching for? What is it that we need or that we believe that we need if in the end it all just goes black and there is nothing else?
The answers must come from within and derived from faith in one's own belief moment by moment.
I suppose another title for this story post could be called "Either Way, On The Other Hand," As I try to see things from more than one perspective while at the same time standing by my own personal convictions,.
Because beliefs can change as well as others are unchangeable.
And an open mind can result in an eclectic change of heart. But closing doors by proselytizing to those you feel are wrong certainly offers no room for contemplation of alternative ways of thinking.
More so it has been shown to us over time to serve as a deterrent for many from ever seeking new and different ideas. And if we think that we know it all, then we certainly cannot learn anything new.
And in conclusion, As for COVID? If you look very closely you can find peace in the middle of chaos.
Thanks again for letting me share!

When I write my story post and you are a reader of them then you may have noticed that I repeat many of the same messages but perhaps the story may change,
Its kinda like repetitive learning. Like when we listen to a favorite song over and over. Others call this brainwashing. But how I was living? My brain needed a good washing! LOL
I was harming myself in dark self-destruction and at the same time afraid of losing who I was. The enemy of humans and of God is a very clever evil that uses us against ourselves.
This hunter of faith whispers in our ears..... Lies!
But there is a voice of truth. And when or if you find it, then you will know the difference. However, with "Spiritual Discernment" comes the "Responsibility of Awareness".
"Who Am I Listening To, That I Do What I Do, Be It Right Or Wrong?"
Ya know in these chaotic and divisive times, the last thing we need is more judgment and less forgiveness?
Can folks change for the better? Or do we cast them aside like so many Christians that followed Jesus?
Are we not them? The oppressed and persecuted? Even in these times? For our faith and beliefs in an unseen Father?
I believe that Judgment is not ours to condemn the wicked as much as it to find the strength, courage, and will to forgive.
As impossible as it seems for us who have been so wronged or unimaginably damaged by another to find healing and peace through forgiveness it is possible.
To Forgive. But Never Forget. Is revenge, not the Lords? Because revenge, hate, anger, resentment, is poison to our souls. As if the revenge we take is upon our own selves.
In some way, do we blame ourselves for those wrongs done to us?
If I had done things differently then maybe they couldn't have harmed me?
I Am So Stupid To Allowed Them The Chance To Harm Me!
Had I not been there, where I shouldn't have been, none of this would have happened.
If I had not said what I said that provoked the harm, and I had done and instead I did what was expected of me, in the way my abusers wanted, I could have avoided all this.
"What Did I Do Wrong To Deserve This?" Why God? Why Did This Have To Happen? Why Did You Allow All This? What I Did Do?"
Are we so in control of our mission and strategies that we will have the retribution and vengeance that we have so longed for? Have we all our lives in dark places planning it all out that will bring us justice, satisfaction, and closure?
And as we seek revenge on our abusers, (even if they are no longer living) we know it will never happen. Because we can never change what occurred in the past to us. And the past is one second ago.
Without healing and forgiveness, we are likely to pass on all our hurt and pain to the next innocent victim. We may never know or understand Love and Peace. Prisoners. Incarcerated in emotional bondage.
Are We, They?
If we do pass on our legacy of fear, not only does the anger spread, but we are still the same. So what was the point of revenge? Where is the end of it all? What has changed?
God loves a sinner. God loves us for our imperfections. He uses the broken hearted as vessels for his word of hope.
Doing wrong can be an opportunity to learn to live right. Wisdom comes from experience, And perhaps our worst can be our greatest wisdom.
If we learn from them. If we ask for forgiveness for ourselves that brings some peace that we may forgive those who trespass against us.
Some folks in the world serve the adversary. The enemy of God, While others simply are lost in the world as I was in the past. From circumstances and situations that were beyond my control as a child.
As I grew to became an adult I was still the damaged child for decades. The past was all I knew. To do to others what was done to me.
I didn't know in those decades that I was reliving the dark days of my youth over and over, again and again, each day.
And then one day as I was lost, suddenly I was found. When I was blind in an instant I could see. I didn't know this stranger to me. But he said to me, "Come Unto Me. Let Me Show You A Better Way. Follow Me",
And so I did.
I am still following today. Although I have a very, very, long way to go. Progress Not Perfection.
And although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For you are with me always. Thy rod and staff they do comfort me.
Fear Is The Enemy. And Anger Perpetuates It.
And Lord, My Father, In Your Name, I Embrace An Infinite And Eternal Abundance Of Love And Forgiveness.
For I Am Still A Child. A Child of God. And Only Through You Can There Be The Return To Innocence. That Which Can Make My Mind And Heart Pure And Free Again.
Thanks for letting me share again. Peace, Love, and Healing.😍🙏🤩