Empathy. Our Past Meets Our Children's Future. -by Clay Burton

Howdy Readers. Well, it has been about two weeks since I have made a good long story post. God has had me busy doing other things as you all know about very well I am sure.
But my amateur writing is after all my therapeutic means to express and share my thoughts so as I go running through life at 90 miles an hour, I may not stumble and fall as much.
Some folks have asked me, how is it that I can understand as much as I do about another person's daily life challenges. And how is it that as a single man with no children that I could have insight into a child's development?
My reply as well as my credibility is as follows:
(1) Every thought I have confidently comes from and goes through The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, If however that if I pray, ask, and seek his guidance first.
(2) It is my personal belief that I have been given, (only by God's grace) a natural-born ability to understand people, places, and things through empathy.
(3) I have lived through hell and back.
Observed, analyzed, and documented me as I traveled through it all.
Studied and learned from it all.
Understood it all.
Gave it all reason and purpose.
Applied it all as wisdom.
And have been working in association for 11 years in recovery with others who have been through what I have and/or are actively in addiction (s), emotional/mental/cognitive stresses, and negative behavioral problems all of which I had overcome.
And if I may slip one day, from possibly an array of life's devastating events, one thing that is for certain is that I have all the tools necessary to get back on that horse.
It isn't about falling off, but it is about acquiring perseverance from God's Love to stay in the saddle.
But the chances are very high that If I maintain my spiritual contact with God I may never fall again in the way as I did in my past again. Unless it is God's will and not by my own will.
With Gods Love comes, Faith, Hope, Peace, Strength, Empowerment, Happiness, Inspiration, and Determination to only name a few amazing and miraculous life-changing virtues.
And from God's forgiveness, we can forgive ourselves and renew the trust that may have been discredited from our unwarranted actions with, family and friends.
Now that we have overcome so far in our journey we can reflect on the past and in turn share our experience, strengths, and hopes. We pass the Godly Grace of Salvation on to those who suffer now as we once did.
Being an empath is kinda like following another person and walking behind them in their footprints left behind as they share with us.
But never actually being able to fully walk in another person's life experience shoes. You have counselors, therapists, case managers, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, life, and recovery coaches that use empathy to help many folks.
Or you're very wise Grandparents! But they all work in the field of behavioral sciences. AKA Empathy and Understanding.
Another example is persons that serve in the public for its people as kind, compassionate, caring, healing. teaching, and saving humanitarians.
It is their compassion that makes them an empath with that natural-born ability to bond with another. Particularly as has been in my experience with Nurses, First Responders, Teachers, Military's Service Personal, and Angels!
Yes, Real Angels. Ya know when those unexplainable heroes that appear in difficult or dangerous circumstances and unexpected situations where the right person shows up at the right time when the wrong things are happening?
Then they may disappear anonymously after the danger had passed and you were left in good hands?
Oh, yea. there were quite a few of these Godly beings in my life and maybe yours too? Maybe you guys could make a post asking other folks to share there own angel experiences. That would be cool!
Although we all have numerous common human interests, needs, traits, characteristics, feelings, biological-chemistry, etc, we are all individually unique.
Of all human beings, I believe that Mothers are the most intuitive and empathetic of all naturally. They seem to possess the ability to sense their children's needs and welfare since conception.
If I were to theoretically evaluate this phenomenon I would attribute these maternal sensory perceptions to the Mother and child in the womb having spent such a long period living as one being.
For others like myself, I believe that we too as humans can evolve great empathy. It likely requires open-mindedness and willingness to receive spiritual intervention. In some cases we may ask for Godly intervention but not let go of our prayer so God can take over.
I imagine for many it can be scary and they may not want to know certain things. Some folks are compelled to lead while other folks choose to follow.
Some folks just Have To Know! And others don't need to know.
But if you don't want to know, but do have the ability to feel other's feelings or to feel our own feelings then empathy can be a curse. There's so much to that too though. About why a person would not like to know certain things
Some folks prefer to stay distracted and always busy. Caught up in the world's problems all the time. This may be a way to avoid their own lives and their issues by spending a lot of time in other folk's lives and in other folks' business.
Whether to be nosey or to fix and solve their problems but can't seem to fix and solve their own. I think we all know a few of these folks.
It's certainly an effective way to not look within as to address one's problems or defects. I can't blame them really. These folks are most likely very sensitive. But the irony here is that sensory perception develops more in sensitive people.
But without the acceptance and experience of feeling things as if it were directly affecting them, it can be an unwelcome reminder of something that had happened in their past that they simply are not ready to deal with. And may never be ready.
Although we have natural-born abilities to use great empathy, for some it is as simple as breathing, while others such as I had to develop empathy over decades.
And likely with other folks like me, the way to heighten empathy is through their experiences of course. And the worst experiences can give a person a very keen sense of empathy. If however, they survive their worst.
Great empathy can be developed from the overcoming of tragedy and trauma. When you have been to Rock Bottom, then the only place to go is Up. If we choose to. And when you have been in the dark for so long, even a speck of light is Bright!
So you tend to develop new perspectives and ways of looking at life that makes sense now when there was only the senseless before. Instead of asking or crying in desperation What? Why? We now have more understanding.
Now, again, as mentioned above, there is always spiritual influence. Two things that I almost mention in every story post that I have submitted since I have been sharing my life, regarding all my ups and downs from the past to the present and what works for me to manage it all are:
(1) God
(2) Discernment. (spiritual discernment) The wisdom to know when to do what, and how to do it? .When one truth can apply to different situations and not apply at all to others.
So which is the truth we may ask ourselves in trying times? Well, who are we asking?
For me, trying to answer all my own questions only by myself, usually has me running in circles. I mean if I can't figure it out then I must allow God to help me. I need to get out of the way.
Both of these determine my decision making and my actions. And it is my responsibility to decide what choices good or bad that I make.
There simply is no more "I Didn't Know Or I Don't Know or Denial". With the acknowledgment and recognition of all that I do truthfully and honestly, that makes me accountable.
And Who The Heck Wants To Do That? No Way! But it is the only way to be free. Free from what? That is for you to understand.
In other words when you know what you are doing then you know better to do or not do what it is that you are doing.
So if you read this far then you might be asking what does all this have to do with raising children?
Well, this is what we teach our children right? To be responsible and accountable? I do wonder however how much of this is being taught to our kids these days?
There seems to be more liberal parenting. The lifting of restrictions and limitations in parenting today that allows much more leniency that has been growing over the past 3 decades with the good intentions of allowing a child to explore themselves, their likes, and their consequences on their own.
This is not a bad idea if you are not trying to compensate for your own guilt from your own mistakes in your youth, or if you didn't have it very good in your past and want to give your kids a better life than you had.
I think more freedom can enhance and expand a child's imagination to better envision who they are and what they can do in life. However without structure, guidance, obedience, and discipline "When The Cats Away The Mice Will Play"
ahem, your kids are not your friends Ok? Especially when they start telling you what they are going to do and what they are not going to do and you are running around the house worried about not be accepted by them because you said No.
I just had to throw that in LOL!
We all know that kids like to test their parents out to determine what they can get away with! Funny but true and I outta know because I was a horribly manipulative child.
So what is needed that has has been taught, spoken of, and written about since humankind could teach, speak and write is
"Balance". In all things that we do and not the left-right extremes
An even bigger challenge today is the "Age Of Technology" in which tech devices seem to teach our kids more than we can teach them and perhaps we allow these many devices to babysit as well. Which may lead us to question, "Who is raising our kids?"
Before COVID with an ever-increasing workforce, it was common for a household to be a two working parent team. As of now, there are far fewer parents working so these tech devices play an even larger role in how our kids are developing their emotional/mental cognitions.
The danger here is the lack of social interaction with other kids (human beings). And more of the presence of technology is a concern of how our new generations' consciousness is developing.
But here it is and it's here to stay and technology will continue to dominate our lives. Once again "Balance" is needed here.
Now lets put Empathy and Parenting and Kids all together
The less interaction we have with our kids, then the less we know what our kids are doing. How they feel. What their challenges are. What their needs and wants are, Their interest, and who they are associating with.
With technology, we are losing social interest in each other as well. Many folks do not like to read long posts such as mine. They do not enjoy conversation, and extensive talking as I do. Many folks want fast, and short answers, with quick solutions and be on their way.
But no matter how much the world speeds up, there simply are no real, substantial human solutions that give instant gratification. There are no short answers to a question in its entirety.
A question is an inquiry that someone wants to know about. Take your kids for example. Their questions need to be discussed to conceive all the information for them to fully understand what it is that they want to know.
But time is too short now in society. From home, they have universities and vocational training to learn an advanced skill or an academic degree.
But what they get at home to take with them can give them an advantage or possibly a set back from not being as prepared as they could have been.
The bottom line is that empathy is education, knowledge, and wisdom,
It is compassion, caring, and love.
It is a concern for others.
It is advice and resolution.
It is sharing our own experiences in hopes of bringing more understanding of each other, the world, and of life.
It is the hope for the future. Our children are indisputably the future.
And what we leave behind for them, is what they will build upon.
Thanks for letting me share as always.🥰