I testify from personal experience that it is hard to fathom completely surrendering to God. I mean 100% I had to learn to understand this by witnessing the results for myself. The Hard Way. LOL!
In the same way, a boxer in the ring does. When you are totally knocked out, you have no more will to fight and can't get up. It's over. There is no resistance at all. Period. You're done.
Done doesn't mean you can think. Thinking too much to convince yourself of what you already want to hear yourself say so as to avoid giving up anything at all.
Yea it's hard to believe, conceive and perceive giving away all that you love, have worked hard for, and your life. But I believe that Jesus did just that for me. Its a fear, Yes, so there must be faith.
What I had to do when I was out there in my addiction, mania, and depression, was to finally listen to someone who l.oved me. A man that didn't even know me! But he saw me suffer. I didn't know why back then but I had to take his suggestion to try something different and new.
What did I have to lose? I was dying? I was living in self-destruction after all. I couldn't imagine that the Son of God would come near me at all doing what I was doing to myself. Hell, nobody would. I wouldn't do it either if I were a stranger to myself. Hmmm? Then again maybe I was
So this real stranger to me reached out and invited me to his care. He fed me and gave me a place to rest. He was a recovered addict himself for many years.
He knew it was only a matter of time before the drugs and satan would be calling for me. And he knew that he couldn't stop me.
But he was so kind and I was so tired. His love for me seemed so sincere and honest but he didn't even know me or I thought he couldn't know me. But he did because he said that he was me at one time in his life.
So I cried as I took his hand. I surrendered to this man. He wasn't God, but I surrendered to him anyway. He knew what to do with me and what to expect. All he asked me to do was nothing at all.
But I instinctively knew what to do. Follow him. That's all. The rest overtime all feel into place. It was a tremendous amount of work, study, and gathering in rooms of support abound with love and like-kind old souls.
When I thought I was invisible to society these folks could see me. They could hear me, And they could feel me. My pain. Its been since 2009 now I have been free from emotional bondage and free from addiction.
From then on. to sun up to sundown I pray. It's easy to always be praying you never stop. And you don't feel as you have to and you don't feel regret from forgetting either.
You're in pray mode all the time! LOL! It's automatic. And as long as I stay connected to God I am safe, secure, confident, and have everything I want and need.
Of sure you say. Everything?
Yes, I say, everything!
But how can this be? It isn't possible or realistic.
Oh but my reality may be different than yours.
My perspectives may be more optimistic and positive than reality.
Is God-reality or fiction?
I would answer your question. But in order to prove to you that God exists? You must prove to me that God does not exist. You cant and nor can I.
But I can feel him. I know it because I would not be alive today had he not be real. To me.
So surrender? Complete and total surrender? All my money? My family, my dogs, and all that I stand for? My identity? Who I am? Everything? Do you mean all that I am and have?
Well as for me? Who I was? Was killing me, sooooooooooo?.....
Come On! No human can do that.
Well, it depends on what you think you need. Is it what you need to live?. Like air, water, and food?. My, God feeds my soul. Nurtures my mind, lifts my spirit, and cleanses my heart. All this to see what I already have and more to live or I would die
The very smallest, but the most important things in life. I have love. I have Christ's love. I have self-love. I have love from so many friends and I have my family's love and trust back again that I had lost when I was lost.
I actually wasn't looking for God, God found me. He knew what was going on with me. He just was waiting for me to come back to him. But I didn't even know that I was with him. Now, I know that he has been with me all of my life since I was born.
It's like this. I am not afraid anymore to give up absolutely everything in my life or my life itself. Because God doesn't take it all away from me. He just wants to see if I am willing to give it to him.
I get most of it back. But he takes what I don't need that I thought I needed. Turns out that God knows what I need and want more than I do. LOL! It's true! But it took me a long time to trust.
On the streets, you trust no one. Its just survival. But I am not an animal and was not intended to live as one. So when I surrender I get amazing things, more than I could know ever before. Things I never expected and things that I didn't even know that I would like!
Suddenly yet gradually things kept getting better, and Better and BETTER! I just had to give up what I thought I wanted in order to get something better.
Because now I realized, "How could I get anything better if I didn't appreciate what I already had?" When I was dying out there I didn't appreciate my precious life and a very short time on earth. That is until I almost lost it all.
Why wait until then? Until its, all gone, in a blink of an eye?
So optimism -vs reality? For me? One and the same. What was I holding onto that made me so sad? That I always felt so bad. From the things that I thought I never had? I couldn't know until I gave it all up!
And believe me, when I believed in him, there was Peace, Love, and Happiness? I'm having the time of my Life! Every day is a good day even on a bad day! Because the bad days could never compare to my past.
I may not be where I am supposed to be. And maybe I never will be. But I sure as hell ain't where I was! Can I Get An Amen! Oh, Yeah Baby! Hallelujah! Woo Hoo!🤩
Thanks for letting me share again! 🥰
Howdy there. My Name is Clay Burton. I was born in Galveston County, Tx in 1963 and have lived in Hitchcock Tx. for at least 40 years now. but only the past year or so I have become a very active volunteer in local community services here in Hitchcock.