THE MOST EXTREME, CHEESY, FUN STUPENDUS OVER THE TOP
THANKSGIVING
AND CHRISTMAS SECTION EVER...
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Christmas Movie Reviews
· Holiday in the Vineyards - Netflix This movie is about a widow Val who struggles to keep the local vineyard running while raising two young boys. She may be in store for a Christmas miracle when she falls for a big city playboy a large vineyard owner who is sent to secretly get intel by his mother Margot (Eileen Davidson of Young and Restless and the Real Housewives of Beverley Hills fame). The Baldwin vineyard makes wine that is so terrible that they themselves refuse to drink it. Spoilt son of the Baldwin vineyard owner is charged to go and scout out the only vineyard in the area not owned by the Baldwins inorder to secretly buy it The son Carter has recently jilted his fiancé/wife at their wedding and his mother wants him to prove that he can run the business he will one day inherit instead of just enjoying spending all the money he gets being the son of the business owner. When he arrives to scout out the vineyard for sale he meets a realtor who is adamant they are not going to sell to Baldwin wines. Carter ends up going undercover pretending to be a carpenter who is going to stay in her house in return for fixing it up she is *SHOCK* a widow and he fixes (very poorly) the house and bonds with her two young boys while she is at work. That doesn't sound like potential for child safety violations at all does it? We are a third of the way in and there has been zero signs of Christmas. We feel like Netflix has a Christmas-catfished us! Turns out our realtor widow’s husband was a novice winemaker and she has a bunch of old bottles in her garage but now, the evil Baldwin wines buys all the good grapes in the area. How very dare they! She doesn't know if any of the dead husband’s wines are any good but it just so happens that our fake carpenter happens to know a lot about wine... This movie is exactly as predictable as you think. There are no surprises except for the fact that it is billed as a Christmas movie and there is about as much Christmas in it as there is snow in the desert. The movie drags on and with 16 minutes to go, we start to see a scene where Carter dresses as Santa and they attend a Christmas party but really this has to be in the movie so they can bill it as a Christmas movie otherwise we doubt people would watch this movie. Honestly if you're looking for a movie to watch that's a Christmas movie don't bother. If you're looking for a cheesy movie where you don't need to think at all, that you could just have playing in the background this is it. This is a Mills and Boon movie. it’s cheap, charmless, and chronically banal. the only highlight is the guy at the Hardware Store who is somewhat funny. One and a half Christmas trees out of 10
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